The Truth About Being Single Vs. Being Married

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Whether you like it or not, being in a relationship changes you. It’s a wonderful thing to find a life partner, but you have to be prepared for the changes and sacrifices. That’s not to say they are all bad changes… after all, getting rid of those Ninja Turtles boxers is just good for humanity, period.

Your Cleavage Strategies Change

When you’re a single girl and looking for love, you want to show your assets but you don’t want to expose too much. A little bit of skin here, a little there, but let’s pair it with a long-sleeved shirt for the sake of modesty. On the flip side, when you’re taken, you want to show the world what your significant other is getting, and what everyone else is missing.

No More Nasty Leftovers

We think it’s fair to say single people probably have the worst eating habits out of all. After all, why bother cooking an entire meal just for one person? So we rely on takeout and leftovers and our fridge is always full of expired food. But once we’ve found someone, we want to impress them. We take out mom’s cookbook and make an Instagram-worthy meal every night.

Goodbye To Those Old Boxers

When you’re single, the number one thing you look for in underwear is comfort. At that point, style is not a concern. It also doesn’t hurt if you find a pair of undies with your favorite cartoon characters on them. But when you’re in a relationship, all that goes out the window. You wear something that flatters your attributes even if it’s too tight for comfort.

You Forget Your Facebook Password

When you’re single, social media is your entire world. Whether it’s Facebook, Snapchat, or Twitter, these sites are a tool for your social life and hopefully also for your love life. But once you are taken, all of that takes a back seat. You’d rather spend time cuddling with your partner and you don’t really care how many Facebook notifications you have.

Style Makeover

This is not to say that all men are style-illiterate. But many men, especially single ones, just throw on jeans and a t-shirt every day and don’t really think about why. Once you get a girlfriend, though, she might start judging your style choices. If only just so you can take pictures together and not have people wonder if that’s the only outfit you own.

To Trim Or Not To Trim?

When you’re single, you never know when your next close encounter is going to be. Maybe you’ll go out with friends and you meet a cute person you’ll want to take home. So you have to keep all your body parts clean and tidy 24/7, just in case. Once you’ve been in a relationship for a while, though, you kind of let yourself go.

Swatting Them Off Like Flies

It’s a tale as old as time. When you’re single, it’s like you have a foul odor that you can’t shake off. No one will come near you, no one will swipe right on Tinder. By contrast, when you’re taken, it’s like you give off sex pheromones. Thirsty suitors can’t keep their hands off you.

Better Get Unlimited Minutes

When you’re single and just going on casual dates, there’s not really much to talk about on the phone. You make plans, confirm the time and location, and say goodbye. But once things get serious, there’s no shortage of things to talk about. Especially during the first three months, aka the “honeymoon phase,” it’s almost like your phone is another limb in your body.

Honey But No Money

This one’s an inevitable tragedy. When we’re single, we start saving all this money but it makes us sad because we don’t have anyone to spend it on. Once we’ve finally found someone, we do everything together, so things are twice as expensive. Soon enough, we run out of money and we become wistful for the days when there were wads of cash in our wallet.

Bros Before Hoes Is A Lie

When you’re a young, single person, there’s nothing more important to you than your squad. You go on trips together and you make a pact to be friends forever. But once one of you finds a partner, it’s like throwing a wrench in the gears. They start doing “couple activities” and forget the group’s weekly get-togethers. And then there were three…